Perspective

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Archive for February 2009

Lost my best friend and found Norah Jones

Today is just short of one year since I lost my best friend. Like most long relationships we didn’t start out as best friends. For a while we were just brother and older sister. One day when I was about 12 or 13 she came home from collage. That day changed at least one of our lives. It took me many years to figure that out and to figure out what the change was, but that day was the spark that started a friendship that was greater than just being siblings. I’ll leave the details of that day for another time if at all.

My friend was a character that’s for sure. Friendly and nice to all one minute and a hellion the next, she suffered the bane of all perfectionists in that she didn’t understand that flaws are what make us unique, if sometimes insufferable. A gifted artist, her paintings are usually simple but dramatic, drawing you in until you get the point.

That hellion part… for the last 6 years of her life she battled breast cancer, operations, treatments and all that comes with them. And the hellion disappeared. In it’s place came full time, this unbelievable calm, open witty wonderfull person. Oh ya she had her bad days but even then the difference was palpable. I think she found her place. All the searching for whatever, she found it. Sometimes I wonder if she needed to see her own immortality to find her spot in the world.

She never got to see her granddaughter, missed by one month, almost to the day. Speaking of days. Her last was in a hospital room after mom’s 90th birthday party with a bunch of her friends and family. The morphine made it easier for her, not so much for those not on it.

I guess I have to tell of that day so long ago, to make any sense of the story.

At the dinner table I was told by the new sorority sister to get my elbows off the table. Not being a sorority sister I declined. Probably in a some what inhospitable way, as can be my nature. Now being the control freak she was, she had to take control of the situation, so a fork was forcibly inserted into the offending elbow. That didn’t sit well with the recipient of the fork and a chase ensued. She was just fast enough to shut the door of her room before I got there so a hand had to be placed forcibly on the door. The door held. Damnit. Because all of the damage was superficial to this point and a stalemate was at hand, tempers were allowed to cool naturally and a truce reached. But what happened next surprised me. Not then because I was too stupid to notice but as I grew up I realized that what I gained was simple respect for being an actual person not just a little brother. It didn’t hurt that I had grown enough to be larger than her (finally!) but I’ll take whatever respect I can get. From then on we became friends, until as adults in the later half of life my take was best friends. We could and would talk about us, not just the little things that make the days go by. I miss that. A lot.

Now what brought up the post title…  Shortly my friend/sister passed I was commiserating (drinking tequila) with her business partner of 16 years in their house and putting on some music. Having never heard Norah Jones I played it. Her partner said that was one of her favorites. Not long ago I was reading Open Salon and came upon a post about music. Music that the writer wanted a friend to hear. One of the titles was Norah Jones singing “Don’t Know Why”. Now I know that there is no connection here but some blogs seem to hit a spark, and here the timing was….  can’t say perfect but I miss my friend.
Here’s the link to friends music. Try the Norah.

R

Written by Ruckus

February 13, 2009 at 2:51 am

Posted in family, friends

Day One

Another blog -who’d a thought.

So not only am I full of crap, I’m a smart ass.

But that doesn’t mean anything because contrary to some opinions, none expressed here yet, I am human. So I start this journey to see what’s around the next bend, to see if another sunrise brings a better day. I’ve had a lot of days, not as many as some, more than others. Some of those days have been great, over the top days, some not so much. I’ll be writing about both as they hit me. Some of my crap will be political but not too much here. I hope it will be entertaining but that of course is not the point. I hope to hear back from you when a story hits a spot you like or that affects you in some way.

R

Written by Ruckus

February 13, 2009 at 1:32 am

Posted in Uncategorized